Daisho Con

I figured this was the best forum to put this in.

I have a good friend down here in Madison. I've only really known him since last summer, but he's a great guy, and a great DM. He's a little unreliable, mostly because of his controlling father and the fact that he rarely uses his cellphone, but we generally forgive him for this.

Things changed over the course of this past college year. Contacting him became much more difficult than before, and on the rare occasions that we did see him during the year (I think we saw him twice), he would tell stories about how he would drink and smoke pot with his friends.

Hearing him talk about it has always been uncomfortable, and honestly, I'm worried for the guy. A lot of things can go wrong in so many ways with what he's doing. I just... I just wish I could talk to him about this somehow. I'm afraid that he'll get mad at me or something.

Does anyone have any advice for this?

In all honesty, anything beyond telling him you disapprove is likely to widen the gap. Public schools spam drugs are bad messages like candy. he knows what his behavior can do. He likely doesn't see that it's hurting the people around him, but that is something he has to notice, not be told, in order to have an effect. In essence he has to realize it's a problem first. It's his choice to screw up his life. I have several friends back home that mess around with the stuff, it doesn't make them bad people. However they also know that I don't hang around when stuff like that is going on, so I rarely see it happen.

Aminar wrote:In all honesty, anything beyond telling him you disapprove is likely to widen the gap. Public schools spam drugs are bad messages like candy. he knows what his behavior can do. He likely doesn't see that it's hurting the people around him, but that is something he has to notice, not be told, in order to have an effect. In essence he has to realize it's a problem first. It's his choice to screw up his life. I have several friends back home that mess around with the stuff, it doesn't make them bad people. However they also know that I don't hang around when stuff like that is going on, so I rarely see it happen.

Yup - pretty much exactly what I was going to say Aminar. Also, I'll say right now that in moderation (despite whatever the general public wants to tell you) the likely hood that either of those things is going to kill your or completely ruin your life is pretty low. Granted I know nothing of the specifics of the situation, but it sounds like you don't either. I don't see that there's a terribly large amount that you can do at this point. Some times people do stupid things - a lot of the time it's relatively harmless and it ends up as a fun story for some time down the line, sometimes all you can do is be there to help pick up the pieces.

I suppose I am worrying too much... I always worry too much. I just hope that him telling his pot-smoking stories doesn't become a regular thing. It'll tear me to pieces inside. I hate worrying about it, but it's difficult not to.

Pot smoking is much like drinking combined with smoking. In moderation it'll be fine. Don't worry that he's smoking Pot. A ton of people do Worry if he moves on to bigger things, or if he smokes a whole ton of it. Like I said, tell him you disapprove and worry.

I would recommend acting as if his stories are stupid and unfunny. That may at least get him to stop telling them.

Also, stop worrying so much in general, it's bad for you.

That's... sort of the problem. Another friend of mine, who hangs out with him much more than most of us, says that he brags about how much of a 'heavy-weight' he is, so to speak.

Most of us haven't said anything to him yet. Only Emily, but only because she's a part of DARE at her high school and is a total Nazi about it. She mainly said the generic "drugs are bad for you" line. Yeah, not much effort there.

I probably will say something to him, once I see him and I can get a chance to speak with him alone. I'll just explain that I wish he didn't do it so much, just because of its consequences (other than the danger of the drug. He could get in big trouble with his school) and the fact that it makes me worry about him sometimes.

Define heavyweight? As in he smokes a lot, or needs to smoke a lot to get high. Typically speaking heavyweight refers to the lessening of the effect. And even then Pot's effects are minimal. When he starts growing breasts he's in trouble.

Needs a lot to get high. And we already know that he's gained a lot of weight, mostly because of college and pot giving him the 'munchies'. Dunno if he has boobies, though.

Marijauna promotes male breast growth, beyond mere moobs(the correct term is in fact moobs so as to differentiate between boobs, which are good and man boobs, which aren't...I ust typed that, lol). Gaining weight in college is nothing new though. the freshman 15 is cliche by now. (Wish I woulda had it.)

Gaining weight requires you to eat more than Scooby does, Aminar.

ahhhh college

I am just going to put this on here...

I personally don't think that their is anything wrong with marijauna so long as you (meaning the person smoking) dosn't do anything to stupid.

as for drinking, well let me just say that so as you don't drive, I'm happy

Monkeybotz wrote:I am just going to put this on here...

I personally don't think that their is anything wrong with marijauna so long as you (meaning the person smoking) dosn't do anything to stupid.

as for drinking, well let me just say that so as you don't drive, I'm happy

Agreed. The same is true for most things.
And yes, drinking and driving is one of the worst things you can do when you drink. At least with other situations, if you screw up, you're more or less only hurting yourself.

I'm going to put up my disagreeing opinion on this one. If in your situation, I wouldn't hesitate tell him that you're not cool with him drinking a lot and smoking pot.

If he's just an "okay" friend, I wouldn't bother, but if he is a "good" friend like you say then you should make him aware.

A lot of times people are really cool until they get their first exposure to drugs and alcohol and have no clue how to handle it. This type of situation turns many nice people into complete douche bags from my experience.

I do agree with Wheelie, it's the advice I gave. I'm just saying to do so in moderation, and that depending how he acts about it to ignore it.
Worst comes to worst let bet friends go, a bad friend isn't a friend anyway.